he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
