dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
