For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
