Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
