She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
