Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
