wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
