I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
