i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
