hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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