Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
