piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
