Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
