All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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