Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Panties = found
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
