his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The ass gains better be worth it
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