I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
