dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
