And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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