im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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