Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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