you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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