I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
