Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
