Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
