Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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