I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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