ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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