she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
