ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
