I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
