the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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