love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
