"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
