Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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