is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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