what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
