I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize