I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
