ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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