my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize