I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
