seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
