FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
