Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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