Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Randomize
