it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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