I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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