Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
two words: eviction party
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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