cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
