i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
